Will I be spared this year?   Let’s face it, each year is its own journey for Ghosts of New Years Past, Present and Future bearing reminders of broken Resolutions!  

In years past, ghosts of forgotten resolutions join me in reflection hinting of the future. Resolution insanity usually begins its assault around Dec 29^th  about the same time as cellulite accumulation.  For the record….I absolutely love, adore and appreciate my strange life.   My resolve if anything would to be to do more of the same but somehow dissatisfaction, guilt and a frantic search for future perfection elbows past good sense and gratitude for all the wonderful gifts of the previous year.  Does any of this sound familiar?  If yes, add your voice to mine by commenting on this blog. 

Dec 29^th begins the 3 day assault on my ego, when nonexistent issues begin to bubble into some kind of meltdown by midnight Dec 31.  Temporary insanity forces me to review my excesses of the past 12 months.  Ghosts of New Years past, remind me of adventures, success and challenges and various broken promises that eclipse all the really good stuff.  Eventually, generosity prevails…I paddle into clear water to find precious moments of energy and joy in all the changes of 2009.  

Perhaps reflection is about finding the best and not the least of my life’s moments.  Do I really need to make a New Year’s resolution?  Do you?

My journey continues….as I am visited by Ghost of New Years Present.  For a few short hours I  wonder how I might do things differently, questioning  whether or not I choose wisely.  I reflect on the past from a present perspective.   I need to clear baggage and remember to ask forgiveness for some of the stupid things I did in 2009.  I move into gratitude, offering appreciation for every gift given.  I need to remember that not every gift is easy to accept, but every gift has its purpose.  It’s up to ME to figure out what the purpose is.   BUT for now, I just need to understand and accept that I am where I need to be.  Is this my Resolution for 2010?  Is this what will allow my own spirit to soar free and live to the fullest?     

So Ghost of the Future, 2010, what will we do together?  ….With each ghost, I have shed a few tears and been reminded of the beauty and freedom of my life, how I have grown in awareness and at a peak moment,  with gratitude, the Ghost and I,  have released me into my future.  Hmmmmmmm  ….   I feel a New Year’s resolution coming on!!!  But that is for another blog.  

Satisfied, my 3 ghosts depart knowing that they have managed once again to remind me of the beauty of my life as it is at this moment.     I have run the gauntlet days between Xmas and New Years looking  for possibility in my Resolutions rather than perfection and survived. 

I would love to know about your resolutions for 2010.

So here’s the deal.  Timeline:   Dec 2007… I had just relived, for the umptienth time a memory about my exhusband that was painful and had kept me stuck, spinning my relationship wheels for years.  YUP years!!!     This story took place a few years ago, but the memory of how I banished the haunt is still powerful because it allowed me to move on and up into my vibrant life.  

Simple process… I invited the memory to a meeting, along with everyone in it.  We talked I asked questions like,  what made you do that?   Why was important for you to do it that way?  What were your really afraid of?  What else were you really afraid of?  How could we have done this differently?   We, all of us in the memory, negotiated a new imaginary ending.  I thanked all the memory participants and let them know I was releasing them now that we had found a better ending.  

As I worked through the memory, patterns of behaviour became obvious.  The patterns were mine, how I reacted to things.   Patterns were his fear and insecurity.  I was able to take this knowledge of how I reacted to his fear and insecurity out of the memory.  This was an empowering tool for me to use every day.   Forgiveness is also a powerful tool. 

Next, I felt gratitude welling up inside me, a huge bubble of gratitude for having found the golden nugget of learning that would grow me as a person in how I looked at others and similar situations in the future.  BECAUSE I will be tested with a similar situation in the future.  The Universe just wants to make sure that I really learned what was there to be learned.  LOL    If you would like to know more about this forgiveness process check  http://www.portal2positivity.com . 

NOTE:  I recommend the first time you do this process to have a friend or guide or coach present.  It can be quite emotional.  If you need help with the process let me know portalcoach@live.ca

The point is that after I felt and offered GRATITUDE  by saying “thank you” for giving me this new APPRECIATION of this situation.  I truly felt appreciation as another kind of joy expanding my heart and zinging out into the Universe to be boomeranged back at me a few minutes later.  The feeling increased and became even more joyful.  I glowed with appreciation for at least a day afterward.  People noticed.   LOA kicked in right then and there.

Gratitude is an emotional response to a specific situtation or group of situations, Appreciation is an overall sense of wonder and serenity that comes out of recognizing the Gratitude piece in the first place.   Folks, ya can’t have one without the other.   First comes Gratitude then comes Appreciation.

Life essence coaching is the process where we get really foundational in finding gratitude and appreciation in our lifes.   http://www.portal2positivity.com

Still shaking, I peek out my bedroom doorway, to find nothing out of place.  Checking the other rooms, all appears as it should be. Back to bed, eyes closed, the brain won’t stop.  

Ahh it must be inside a cabinet!  Up again, I cautiously open each cabinet reassured that all is well.  Back to bed,   eyes closed again.  Ahhhha, it must be inside the refrigerator!  Up again, nope all is well there too.  Maybe it was a neighbour, but the sound was so close?    Back to bed, and then it hits me!  The antique cabinet….the one that holds my family’s memories, mothers’ and grandmothers’ china, our holiday platters used for every celebration in the past 30 years.  Sighing sadly, I once more throw back the covers. Now in the living room, I unlatch the carved, double wooden doors to this little treasure box, listening as the unmistakable tinkle and crunch of broken glass shifting confirms my fears.  It’s now 3 AM, clean up on aisle one will wait until morning.  The doors remain closed for now. 

My memories, good and bad are stacked like heirloom dishes on shelves in my mind. If the shelf doesn’t have enough support at critical weight bearing  points it will eventually come crashing down.   When we hold onto resentments, angers, frustrations we put great pressure on those supporting structures.  This is when emotional baggage needs to be released to free up those emotional supports and let us move forward.   Easy to say let go of emotional baggage but HOW do we do that?   What else supports being able to release heavy baggage?   Last post, we talked about the 4 categories of personal Values!  Let’s explore a little further.

The must have values in our lives, the ones we don’t even know exist, give us the strength to release the memories that no longer serve us.   BUT what are must have values and how do they perform this magic?

•  A “must have” Value is a comfort zone in your life that tells you when a behaviour, a request from another person or a situation makes you so uncomfortable that you must do what you must do to get back into your comfort zone.  Integrity, Freedom, Choice…these are all personal must have values.  When you obsess, can’t sleep, feel guilty….these are signs of a must have value not being lived.

• Values act as supports along the underside of a situation.  Visualize a shelf or staircase that holds up a great weight.  Now look under the shelf to see extra uprights that support it a critical weight bearing points.  

Exercise:  

1. Think of your ‘must have’ values, name them and write them into your journal.
2. Now close your eyes and visualize your life as a staircase. 
3. Under each important life step put a single upright support that has the name of the value that supported you at that time.  Use your journal to draw a picture of  this staircase.   
4. Finally, draw one more staircase with a chart or picture of a challenge you are facing today.  Draw in one step for each phase of the challenge and under each step put a single supporting Value. 
5. Remember as you are strategizing your action plan for this challenge  to think about how you can best use this value to keep you on tract in your decision making. 

Try this exercise and let me know how it works for you.   I can be reached at portalcoach@live.ca.   I want to hear about YOUR wins and challenges.

Sue Rumack,   life essence coach

I AM…Change from Within   http://www.iamchangewithin.com  http://www.portal2positivity.com

My SECRET is THE easiest  shortcut I know to clearing the brain clutter of old baggage.   Gotta tell ‘ya…there have been nights and days when I just used up the hours reliving “stuff” until I learned how to take the message out of the story, make it my best experience and MOVE ON….   Read on to find out how and if you need help get in touch with me at  portalcoach@live.ca   

What is Emotional Baggage?

• Emotional Baggage is any thought, guilt, memory or self concept that rolls around in your mind, taking over precious sleeping time.
• Emotional Baggage is any self talk that invades your successful planning and execution of a goal, a wish or a dream.
• Emotional Baggage adds to shaky life foundation putting huge strain your living your satisfying successful life.

What are the  Five  (5)  TOOLS for De-Cluttering emotional baggage?

• Journaling is mandatory for recording all supporting steps and new awareness that come out of the de-cluttering old memories. 
• Creative Visualization of the event as you remember it. 

EXERCISE:  Take any memory, review the details (minus emotional judgment), understand your part in the action and then boldly step into the personality of other players to see their viewpoint, what drove their behavior.  As an adult, you  can see the validity  or inappropriateness of their behavior.   Apply this new awareness to your own memory?

• Openness to embracing a new point of view.   Ask the other players in the memory,  what they could have done differently.  Ask yourself and them, how this would have made a difference to the ending.
• Create a new ending that is a win for everyone.  This part of the process actually rewrites neural pathways, infusing the memory with a positive energy.   You’ve just created new energy around this challenging memory!
• Forgiveness, Gratitude and Appreciation.  Choose what you take away as a life lesson from this memory.  Choose to keep the lesson, express appreciation for having discovered the lesson, thank the memory for it’s message, forgive old hurts by understand the failings of human beings and release all the negative memories forever. 

 It is really and truly my mission to get as many people emotionally de-cluttered as possible by March 15th, 2010.  Let’s keep count. 

Feel free to get in touch if you need help unraveling an old story  portalcoach@live.ca

So my question for you today is….Did you step up and actually tackle one tiny space?   OR did you read the lovingly written instructions for de-cluttering  and once again step over, look beyond or promise to get working on this project LATER?

Procrastination is the topic of the day.   Procrastination has been the biggest block in my life beyond not having the massive funds required to quit work and travel seeking adventure and romance in exotic places.  

I don`t know about you, but I always seem to get hungry when I get clutter challenged.  When I get hungry I seem to lose focus and wander away from the project at hand to take a much needed break for just a few minutes.   My few minutes stretch out and before you know it….I need a rest to recharge before I go back to the larger mess I have just created. 

After all this is my free time and why shouldn`t I enjoy it a little?    Yes, the sun is shining on this late November afternoon,  I should be outside enjoying the last of the best Fall weather, after all I do have the whole dark and gloomy winter to take care of this chore.   Right?

Then, when I finally settle down to reclaim a little space in my closet, I find that book I`ve been meaning to read.  As I leaf through it, everything around me begins to dissolve as I leave this reality for a science fiction fantasy full of magic, astral planes that call to me and romantic heroes.  The sun is setting and I’m getting hungry again. 

Well there is always next weekend, no wait I have that Seminar next weekend…Oh well, it has waited this long, I guess it can wait a little longer to make order in my closet. 

Procrastination is just another gremlin sitting on your shoulder holding you back from greatness. 

As you tackle one small piece of your Universe, reclaiming it for your own sense of balance and groundedness, remember to be kind to yourself by celebrating your wins, small as they are and going on to tackle other small projects one challenge at a time.   When you Journal about today’s adventure watch for unexpected clarity about the gremlin of procrastination and of course your magnificent win. 

Tomorrow, or maybe later today I might make another blog entry on other kinds of less messy de-cluttering.  Watch for it.   Blog with you later.  

Sue Rumack

Now,  I know how to create my really comfortable, breathable, safe and balanced spaces.  My adult daughters are sorting it out for themselves.  But here is the secret if you choose to start small, practice often and enjoy your wins….just follow the recipe below.    HINT:   Start small, practice often, enjoy your wins and get brave enough to tackle the clutter monster!!!

So here is the recipe for de-cluttering physical space:

Step #1   Physically feel the space as it is now and imagine HOW you want it to be.  Note the difference.

HOW TO:

1. Stand in your cluttered space, notice how your chest, abdomen, head feel.  WRITE  the physical sensation down as a marker for later.  (fuzzy head, tight chest, butterflies in belly???)

2. Next,  visualize the space de-cluttered…looking good!   Again notice how your chest, abdomen and head feel.   WRITE this down too for comparison later.

        There may be an open sensation  that is actually breathing room in your mind.  Notice other physical sensations of groundedness and balance.  

Step #2   MOTIVATION…. Getting clear on WHY it is important to YOU to de-clutter!

 ASK this all important question  and WRITE your answer in your journal (check Journaling posts Nov 09) :   

What will change when the physical confusion of stuff is gone and I can REALLY   move and breathe is this space?    

Choose the combination of options that work best for you.

             1.       visualization of the perfect space  

             2.       vision boarding with pictures and  motivational sayings

             3.       creating a graph with time lines, tasks, and specific dates

             4.       getting a buddy keep you on task

             5.       hiring a team of professionals to do the work    

Step #3  

A.      Decide how you will dispose of clutter and plan to do it as soon as stuff has been bagged or boxed  

B.      Gather all the tools you need before you begin – do not give yourself a reason to stop once you are doing the work  

C.      Create your action plan using the method that works best for you, visualization, vision boarding, timeline graph with dates and goals, hiring a team of professionals

D.      Use your people resources freely – others like to  feel included in your life

E.       Celebrate your wins frequently  

Be emotionally generous to yourself – every step forward is a win and deserves to be recognized  

NOTE:    Signficant body sensation may feel like lightness in your head, bubbly joy in your belly, openess in your chest.  Take note of what you are feeling, so that you can return to that feeling whenever you need motivation.    

Make it EASY… practice on a really small de-cluttering project first and refine your method and skills on a second small project immediately (within a day or two of successfully completing the first project) . 

Do something that won’t take more than 20 minutes.  Go through all the steps above, just do it quickly to get a feel for it.  When successful, go on to a slightly larger project and when you are ready to tackle THE ONE let me know.

Good luck,  check back tomorrow for the NO GUILT Disposal of Treasures.   If you need me, you know where to find me.   Oh yes, please pass this along to anyone who might enjoy a change.

Enjoy InJoy

Sue Rumack, life essence coach

I AM…Change from Within

416-596-9771 

I admit it, I actually have mail from 1971, the year we got married.  For balance,  I also have the divorce certificate…I even have the envelopes!   Should I be sharing this?

Keep  or shred?   How do I discard my life, when I run out of space to keep all the stuff that validates my existence?  Over the years, that delightful clutter has become a weight that fills up way more than just physical space.   I find that the more ordered my home is, the more in control of the rest of my life feels.   Clear spaces, clear mind…it works for me and maybe it will work for you too.   Read on to learn the simple tips from a professional space organizer who knows a thing or two about getting de-cluttered.

Brenda Day, of Your Space Organizer, www.yourspaceorganizer.com  has some great ideas for simplifying the creeping menace…The Mail! 

Organize Your Mail

 When you read your mail follow these steps to ensure less paper build-up:

1. Open all envelopes and throw them out.  Don’t put the mail back into them only to have to open them again later.  
2. Staple any bills to the included reply envelopes.
3. Keep one place for mail that needs to be dealt with  i.e. bills, tickets, magazines to be read, invitations.     As you have time to tend to the pile, you can pay, file,  read, and throw out items.  As you pay bills, immediately file them.
4. Keep a cardboard file box for each year instead of a filing cabinet.   Once each year ends you can either shred or store the box and start a new one that coincides with the new year. 
5. Request a paperless bill by registering with www.epost.ca which is an online service operated by Canada Post that allows users to receive bills electronically in lieu of a paper copy being mailed.
6. Start to pay your bills online instead of having to mail out cheques every month.
7. Sort your mail over your garbage can or recycle bin. Immediately throw out any advertisements that are of little or no interest to you. If you have more advertisements in your daily mail, than actual mail, make a point to call the post office and request that your name is removed from any advertisement mailings.

If you have any favourite ways of organizing your mail and paper mountain, please be sure to leave your comments for all to learn from. 

If CLUTTER is stressing you out, check back tomorrow for more cool tools to de-clutter. 

The answer is to write the story down, playing with it to see what comes up.

So, we’ve talked about about the Freeform Journal, the Diary Journal and today we are playing with the Memories Journal.  

The MEMORIES Journal

I like to remember that:

#1   Not all memories are bad!

#2   Constant replay memories both good and bad, should never be ignored.  

A haunting memory is begging to give you it’s gift.  This is your treasure hunt.

Loving HINT:   Take each step, one at a time,  don’t try to do them all at once.  Print off this post as reference.   Remember to breathe as you go through each process and don’t do it in the middle of the night unless you really have to.   

Thin Slicing A Memory – The Process 

1. Choose a nagging memory
2. Become  both participant, playing all the roles and impartial observer supporting your memory-self as a protector asking leading questions
3. Step into the mind of each player as you ask why they did what they did.   Allow their answers to be real and feel their story.  (even if you hate them)
4. Your new viewpoints strengthen your ability to release the memory
5. Create a positive new imaginary ending – you will understand why later, just do it!
6. Now search for a new understanding of the memory
7. Focus on a new strength or awareness 
8. Thank every player and release the memory

NOTE:  I have found that a new ending is essential to coming to terms with the memory.  Your fairytale best ending is based on your learning, forgiveness, compassion and  you change the energy of the event to a positive because you discovered the message.   Not only that but your new ending takes the place, energetically of the one you remember, letting you sleep peacefully in the future.

How to write a memory,  the  7  Step  Process

1. New to journaling?  Choose a good memory to build your skills
2. Write down the story from Thin Slicing a Memory
3. Ask what changed when you stepped into the story of each of the other players?  Write down your new insights.
4. Ask what you learned about your part in the how the original story played out. Write down the answer to What was my part in all of this?
5. For difficult memories write both the original and the new endings.   HINT:  To create a more satisfying ending ask the other players how they could have changed their behavior to create a better outcome.  Ask yourself the same question.  Then negotiate a new ending. Write it into the story. 
6. Ask what you learned about yourself?  Write down your greatest strength and your greatest challenge. 
7. Ask about compassion, forgiveness and appreciation.

Your gift, the treasure hidden in every haunting memory, is uncovered in both the memory and writing process.  HINT:   Ask …. What is it about compassion I need to know?  Please take me there!  And then wait to see what comes up for you!

The secret is that we not only ask for compassion, forgiveness and appreciation but eventually we learn to freely give it to others in our memories.  The act of giving frees us from pain and allows us to move forward into living in today’s moments.

Journaling ENABLES us to open to new awareness!  

Happy Journaling, it is a life long rewarding process and the secret to building your own personal awareness talents and strengths.

Tomorrow -   Clutter?  What Clutter?   THIS IS MY STUFF, MY LIFE….

Yesterday we talked about how to Freeform Journal, today is about traditional Diary Journals,

And YES, I really did hid the little gold key to my bubble gum pink, pocket size teen girl diary in my undies drawer when I was 12 years old.    Every girl, back then had her diary.  She spoke her secret desires, her fears, her losses and her feelings for the boy who sat 2 rows over and 3 seats up from her in math class.   She liked the back of his neck…and how the hair curled round the tips of his ears….

The Diary Journal, is not that much different from the one I kept as a young teen.   This kind of journaling is more about logging everyday events, emotions that you restrict yourself from recognizing during the day, your hopes – future dreams, your regrets – the old stuff and musings about the “what if’s?”. 

Why even bother keeping a Diary style journal?  Well, I’ve found that sometimes it’s easier to slip into awareness, when I’m just talking about general stuff almost like gossiping with a girlfriend.  You know,  you start on a train of thought and then have an OMG moment when a new pathway to some blocked issue become crystal clear.   Some people call it an Ahaaa moment.   I can’t say it enough, writing stuff down brings you to those moments that open new doorways and they are so quick that they pop in and out and the thought is lost if it is just in your head.    So, write it down.   

Today, is about How to write a Diary Journal

The DAILY Journal

1. Write a daily log of the events in your life
   1. Choose to write about an event that happened today 
   2. Pinpoint the challenge, your action plan and the result
   3. Observe your strengths and challenges
   4. Observe what you might have done differently
   5. Search for what you learned about yourself, others or life in general from this event
   6. Ask how you can take this knowledge forward to improve your future life
   7. Be kind and non-judgmental to yourself,
   8. Discover compassion for others

The value of a Daily Diary is in learning to watch the ebb and flow of life around you and your reactions to it.  In the process you train yourself to become more than an all-consumed participant, you learn how to become an observer for the purpose of self knowledge and self growth.   

What to do with new awareness! 

1. observe with curiosity
2. ask yourself how it may impact daily life
3. release it
4. look for what you have learned in everyday events for the next week

Over time, you may see a pattern of thought, build a new compassion for yourself and others, become more gentle in how you forgive.  This a long and empowering process.  As they say, every journey begins with a single step. 

Your journal awaits.    Check back tomorrow for  How to Write a Memories Journal. 

Enjoy InJoy

Sue Rumack,  the life essence coach

To me, journaling is a purely personal expression of my inner journey.  Some  might say it is living in the past, but I have found it to be so freeing.  I believe journaling actually documents my process of living in the moment!

Is a journal where you  tell the story of the moment?    The story might be about a past event BUT that old story is messing with your head right now.  So we could think of Journaling as a way of creating a storage bin for old memories.  Funny thing is, you get to watch your own progression in transforming from being in a stuck place to creating fresh wide open space to breathe.  Try it for awhile and see for yourself if you get unstuck.  

3 Different Journaling Styles

1. 1.   Freeform Journal
2. 2.   Daily Journal
3. 3.   Memories Journal

 Whichever form of journaling you choose is exceptionally valuable…you figure yourself out holistically as you go along.  Be spontaneous, throw away the rules and mix it up.  Personally, I have done them all, loved them all and truly grown from playing with journalling.  I’ve been known to fill tiny pocket journals, e-files, the back pages of books I’m reading, fancy decorated diaries and even scrapbooks.   The journal is your creative space and there is only one rule.

 RULE #1     BE AN OBSERVER OF YOUR TEMPORARY REALITY, BE KIND AND NON-JUDGEMENTAL IN SIMPLY NOTICING THE EVENTS.  

Today’s  Lesson 

The FREEFORM Journal

1. Write your thoughts  as a stream of consciousness
   1. Plan to write without stopping for 10 minutes every day
   2. Write freeform whatever comes into your mind
   3. Release the need for correct grammar, punctuation, or even logic
   4. do not edit

The value of Freeform Journaling is that a random thought will lead you deeper into other subconscious issues that may lead you to awareness of a hidden emotional blockage.  Voila,  less stuck….

 What to do with new awareness! 

1. observe with curiosity
2. ask yourself how it may impact daily life
3. release it
4. look for what you have learned in everyday events for the next week

Over time, you may see a pattern of thought, build a new compassion for yourself and others, become more gentle in how you forgive.  This a long and empowering process.  As they say, every journey begins with a single step. 

Your journal awaits.    Check back tomorrow for  How to Write a Diary Journal. 

Enjoy InJoy

Sue Rumack,  the life essence coach