December 25th all magic and extravagance, gives way to Boxing Day excess, predictably followed by the limbo days between Christmas and New Year’s Eve. Dec 27th. , 28th, 29th… 30th…New Year Eve marches ever closer! New, never before noticed pockets cellulite network like spider webs over my thighs as anticipation of overextended credit and total emotional exhaustion over career plans, relationship maybe’s, etc. all begin to chime pretty loudly, drowning out Auld Langsyne.
Will I be spared this year? Let’s face it, each year is its own journey for Ghosts of New Years Past, Present and Future bearing reminders of broken Resolutions!
In years past, ghosts of forgotten resolutions join me in reflection hinting of the future. Resolution insanity usually begins its assault around Dec 29th about the same time as cellulite accumulation. For the record….I absolutely love, adore and appreciate my strange life. My resolve if anything would to be to do more of the same but somehow dissatisfaction, guilt and a frantic search for future perfection elbows past good sense and gratitude for all the wonderful gifts of the previous year. Does any of this sound familiar? If yes, add your voice to mine by commenting on this blog.
Dec 29th begins the 3 day assault on my ego, when nonexistent issues begin to bubble into some kind of meltdown by midnight Dec 31. Temporary insanity forces me to review my excesses of the past 12 months. Ghosts of New Years past, remind me of adventures, success and challenges and various broken promises that eclipse all the really good stuff. Eventually, generosity prevails…I paddle into clear water to find precious moments of energy and joy in all the changes of 2009.
Perhaps reflection is about finding the best and not the least of my life’s moments. Do I really need to make a New Year’s resolution? Do you?
My journey continues….as I am visited by Ghost of New Years Present. For a few short hours I wonder how I might do things differently, questioning whether or not I choose wisely. I reflect on the past from a present perspective. I need to clear baggage and remember to ask forgiveness for some of the stupid things I did in 2009. I move into gratitude, offering appreciation for every gift given. I need to remember that not every gift is easy to accept, but every gift has its purpose. It’s up to ME to figure out what the purpose is. BUT for now, I just need to understand and accept that I am where I need to be. Is this my Resolution for 2010? Is this what will allow my own spirit to soar free and live to the fullest?
So Ghost of the Future, 2010, what will we do together? ….With each ghost, I have shed a few tears and been reminded of the beauty and freedom of my life, how I have grown in awareness and at a peak moment, with gratitude, the Ghost and I, have released me into my future. Hmmmmmmm …. I feel a New Year’s resolution coming on!!! But that is for another blog.
Satisfied, my 3 ghosts depart knowing that they have managed once again to remind me of the beauty of my life as it is at this moment. I have run the gauntlet days between Xmas and New Years looking for possibility in my Resolutions rather than perfection and survived.
I would love to know about your resolutions for 2010.
